This month, many things happen. Not exactly to me but they affect me. I think this month is a month of depression. Sometimes, it just can't be helped and unhappy thoughts start creeping into your mind. I think and feel that I am an invisible person. The only time that I am visible and being thought about is when there are questions that others don't know. That is the time when I become visible. Other than that, decisions are made on my behalf and some are not even told to me.

I think and feel that I am here just to make people happy. Not a clown but a happy person. I make everyone happy but no one make me happy. I can easily understand other people's emotions but they just can't seem to know what is going on with me.

I think and feel that I am here just to help people. Everyone is asking me to help them. Person A ask me to help Person B. Person C ask me to help him/her look through this and that. This goes on and on. Who is helping me? What is worst is that sometimes when the persons in question are in a bad mood and I just nice ask them a question, I am being scolded or shouted at. What does this means? I thought people who do good deeds will have good returns. It doesn't seems to apply to me.

During the past week, I have already slowly decreased my expectations of Person D. Punctuality - no. Promises given, not done. Decisions made, not told. Messages returned slow or seldom returned. I don't know what will happen if this keep up. Will I finally have no expectations at all for Person D? If that happens, what will be of us?

To be or not to be, that is the question - William Shakespeare