A mod is killing me
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Well, this post is really close to the previous one that I have typed. Just one day and I am here to blog again. Why is that so? As per the title, I have one module that is really going to kill me sooner or later. But I hope I will survive and EXCEL in it, of course. The module have everything to do with EXCEL and MODELLING. Not the kind of modelling that you see in Project Runways or the fashion show. It is modelling about the problems so that that person can enter in what they want to know and get exactly what they want to know. This sounds quite fun but the professor that I have is a newcomer, or rather, first time teaching this module. He is a Korean. Hence, he has an accent when he speaks. In addition to that, sometimes when he speaks too fast or he is too excited, some of his mother tongue language will appear. So in the end, I don't understand what he is teaching and he doesn't explain well. Always goes into extra time but still unable to finish what he planned to teach. Never really tell us how do we get certain numbers and now I am still figuring out why that row of numbers will appear. One example of his accent: Light --> Bright.
Woohoo. I think I am so going to have to use all my braincells for this semester.
To fattanah (the only person who continues to read my blog for I dunno what reason) -- Thanks =DDD
Long due post
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
This post is supposed to be typed and posted a week or two ago. Procrastination took place.
This month, many things happen. Not exactly to me but they affect me. I think this month is a month of depression. Sometimes, it just can't be helped and unhappy thoughts start creeping into your mind. I think and feel that I am an invisible person. The only time that I am visible and being thought about is when there are questions that others don't know. That is the time when I become visible. Other than that, decisions are made on my behalf and some are not even told to me.
I think and feel that I am here just to make people happy. Not a clown but a happy person. I make everyone happy but no one make me happy. I can easily understand other people's emotions but they just can't seem to know what is going on with me.
I think and feel that I am here just to help people. Everyone is asking me to help them. Person A ask me to help Person B. Person C ask me to help him/her look through this and that. This goes on and on. Who is helping me? What is worst is that sometimes when the persons in question are in a bad mood and I just nice ask them a question, I am being scolded or shouted at. What does this means? I thought people who do good deeds will have good returns. It doesn't seems to apply to me.
During the past week, I have already slowly decreased my expectations of Person D. Punctuality - no. Promises given, not done. Decisions made, not told. Messages returned slow or seldom returned. I don't know what will happen if this keep up. Will I finally have no expectations at all for Person D? If that happens, what will be of us?
To be or not to be, that is the question - William Shakespeare
